Connecting a Few More Dots
My inner healing journey continues, as we connect a few more dots…
I realized I was ignoring my inner wisdom, my intuition which was telling me (in a small voice) that I needed to take care of me. I needed to put my health and happiness first as an act of self-love and respect. I was in denial that I was miserable in my marriage. I recognized I bought into the Disney story of happily-ever-after. And I bought into the story my husband continued to tell me. The one where I was not doing or not being enough in the marriage. (Can you see how many Dots were in this pattern that I wasn’t connecting?)
My health began to decline toward the end of my twenties. Therapists couldn’t help me. Nutritionists couldn’t help me and doctors were looking in all the wrong places for the cause of my illness. I lost weight and muscle as my body rapidly consumed itself in Ketoacidosis, landing me in the hospital 24 hours from death. I was relived to have an answer finally - a diagnosis of diabetes. (Many Dots here).
I know it sounds dramatic . . . but it is all true. And I also recognize most dramas are based on real life situations, and this was my real-life situation.
Another true life story that happened was as my divorce grew more and more contentious, I broke out in hives. I hived for a year non-stop (I kid you not!) from my eyelids to my ankles. (Talk about DOTS!) All the unexpressed rage I had been holding onto for my entire lifetime decided to erupt through my skin. The sad thing was, I didn’t know how enraged I was until the hives showed up. Again, allergists and dermatologists couldn’t figure it out. They suggested I must have changed cleaning supplies or touched something or eaten something that I was allergic to. Well, actually yeah, I guess I had swallowed something. My Rage! I had continued to ingest it for so long that it had nowhere to go but through my skin.
I share these bits of my life, my story, with you because without conscious awareness, our emotions, thoughts and beliefs affect our well-being. Mental and energetic blocks will suppress your Joie de Vie (carefree enjoyment of life) and will show up as illness. Committing to yourself - to loving yourself, to putting yourself first - is the only way I have found to become empowered in order to live a happy, healthy life.
My journey was an arduous one, yet funny enough, well worth it. As I began to put myself first, I began to respect and trust myself. I learned that I do know who I am and what I am here to do. My life just gets happier and happier — even with all the curves along the way.
I have taken the time to consciously heal from within. Here’s what I have learned . . . that the healing of stuck emotions and energy, the facing your fears, the recognition of your mistakes and the forgiving of self, as well as the releasing of your anger and guilt, are the only ways I have found to truly heal. It takes dedication to yourself, willingness to open your heart to a Higher Vibration of Love and allowing yourself to become fully YOU!
Oh yeah, and all the dots connected to reveal a beautiful, magical creature . . . ME! How cool is that!?!